{"id":13026,"date":"2019-06-11T11:27:07","date_gmt":"2019-06-11T15:27:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/?p=13026"},"modified":"2022-07-22T16:07:57","modified_gmt":"2022-07-22T20:07:57","slug":"jennifer-weiner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/","title":{"rendered":"Jennifer Weiner on Writing the Stories She Needed to Read"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"jennifer
Jennifer Weiner’s latest novel, available now<\/a>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Here at Dia&Co, we\u2019re big fans of Jennifer Weiner because of her commitment to creating well-rounded plus-size protagonists. So, when we discovered she was releasing a new novel, \u201cMrs. Everything,\u201d we scored advance copies and hosted a mini book club with our Dia Dominos<\/a>. Now that \u201cMrs. Everything\u201d has officially launched, we chatted with the best-selling author about why she writes, what she hopes telling her story will accomplish, and how style fits into her life. *Answers have been edited and condensed for clarity and length.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you always wanted to be a writer? When did you first start writing?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ever since I learned that writing was a thing you could do and that writers were actual mortals who walked among us, not gods who spent their days in Mount Olympus\u2019 library, I wanted to be a writer. I can remember being in first grade, and my teacher giving me extra lined paper and letting me stay in from recess so I could write. I was in first grade when I finished my first short story, which was about a balloon that flew across the country. I\u2019m sure my mom has it in a box somewhere!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you start writing a new book, what is your goal? What message do you hope readers take away from your work?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My first goal is to entertain my readers. I always want to tell a good story and give them a main character who feels like someone they want to spend time with\u2014even if she\u2019s flawed or angry or imperfect. I try not to write \u201cmessage\u201d books. I never sit down and say \u201cthis is a story about self-acceptance,\u201d or \u201cthis book is about history and the nature of progress.\u201d But what I\u2019ve learned over the years, and, most especially, with writing \u201cMrs. Everything,\u201d is that stories about women are always political. There are always messages there: about believing in yourself, about not waiting to lose 20 pounds before your life can start, about knowing that you\u2019re worthy of love and respect. I hope that readers see my characters living those truths and are inspired to live them in their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of your characters, including Bethie in \u201cMrs. Everything,\u201d struggle with body confidence at first, before becoming more comfortable in their own skin. What inspired you to write about this kind of journey?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Toni Morrison has a quote I love: \u201cIf there\u2019s a book you want to read, but it hasn\u2019t been written yet, then you must write it.\u201d When I wrote my first book, I was just turning 30, and I had spent most of the previous decade on a diet. There were a lot of books with fat heroines who magically lost weight\u2014I say \u201cmagically\u201d because God knows if the diet they used existed in real life, I would have found it\u2014and only then got to meet Prince Charming. There were also books about women who thought they were fat and were fretting about 10 or 20 extra pounds, whose bodies and whose experiences did not match my own. I wanted to write a roadmap for myself, a story about a larger\/plus-size\/fat woman who falls in love and finds her voice and gets her happy ending and does it without becoming thin. (I wanted, actually, to be really subversive and have the woman\u2019s thinnest coincide with the most unhappy time of her life.) The truth is, I wrote the book to show myself the way. And in the almost 20 years since, not only have I gotten a lot more at ease moving through the world in my body, I hope I\u2019ve contributed to the work of making the world more welcoming and accepting for anyone who\u2019s different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wanted to write a roadmap for myself, a story about a fat woman who falls in love and finds her voice and gets her happy ending and does it without becoming thin.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\"jennifer
Jennifer Weiner in a dress from the Betsey Johnson capsule collection.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Your new book touches on the power of finding community. Why do you think finding a community that you connect with is so important?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it\u2019s a very human impulse, to want people around you, to know that other people are in the trenches with you, or have been where you are. I remember going to my first prenatal yoga class and how the women I met there got me through my first year of motherhood\u2014all the sleeplessness, all the stress, all the anxiety that I wasn\u2019t doing a good enough job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So there\u2019s real-life community, which is so important, but I believe that virtual communities are also important. I remember reading a study about how what you see affects how you feel, and how filling your social-media feed with larger bodies<\/a> can change the way you see yourself. So now, every day, I go on Instagram and see bodies like mine, athletes and models and fashion bloggers and regular women just living their lives. Seeing and interacting with that community has made me feel much more at home in my own skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re always encouraging our own community members to share their style and self-love journeys. How do you think sharing your story can be impactful? What advice would you give to someone who may be a bit more hesitant to share?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a quote that I love by the poet and activist Muriel Rukeyser: \u201cWhat would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.\u201d There\u2019s great power in stories, and great power in truth, and honesty, and visibility. I remember the first time I ever saw a picture of a model with a tiny little belly roll, in Glamour<\/em> magazine. I had literally never seen a picture of a woman with a stomach that looked like mine (even though the real world is full of women with belly rolls!). It felt revolutionary and important because, I thought, if she can sit there, naked, with that little bit of flab on display and not be ashamed, maybe I can move through the world with a little less shame, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what I\u2019ve tried to keep in mind with my own work\u2014that my story has power, that it might be touching someone I\u2019ll never meet, or helping in ways I\u2019ll never see. When I\u2019m writing, sometimes I\u2019ll pretend that I\u2019m the only one who\u2019s ever going to read what I write, and that will help me be brave on the page. When I start to freak out and think that I can\u2019t talk about feeling insecure or envious or hopeless, or whatever, I tell myself that, somewhere in the world, there\u2019s a woman who\u2019s felt exactly the way I did\u2014and she needs to see this. Or I\u2019ll think about my daughters, and how the world I want them to inhabit is a world where all stories matter and everyone\u2019s voice gets heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understand that it\u2019s hard to put yourself out there, whether it\u2019s your story or your picture. It can be terrifying, especially when the world says your story has no value, or your body is unacceptable. Sometimes it\u2019s a matter of acting \u201cas if\u201d: Even if you\u2019re not feeling brave, you can act as if you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I understand that it\u2019s hard to put yourself out there, whether it\u2019s your story or your picture. Even if you\u2019re not feeling brave, you can act as if you are.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\"jennifer
The swimsuit photo<\/a> that went viral.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In 2016, you posted a photo of you in a swimsuit, launching the #WearTheSwimsuit<\/a> hashtag. What inspired you to share your swimsuit photo?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I gained a lot of weight. I remember, when Lucy was seven or eight, looking at photo albums and thinking, if she didn\u2019t know better, Lucy would believe that she was raised by her father and her grandmothers. Because I was, literally, never in the pictures. There were pictures of me in the hospital after I\u2019d given birth, and then a handful of shots from holidays and birthday parties, but, for the most part, I was the one behind the camera, not the one in front of it. And that was especially true in the summertime. I love the water and I love to swim, and even at my heaviest, I\u2019d spent a lot of time on the beach with my daughters\u2014 but the pictures didn\u2019t reflect that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started to think about why. And then I started to think about the women who not only are not in the pictures, they\u2019re also not in the water, or in swimsuits<\/a> at all. They\u2019re in cover-ups or they\u2019re staying home because they hate how they look in swimsuits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought about the picture I\u2019d seen in Glamour<\/em>, and how that model with her little bit of tummy made me feel better about myself, and I thought, okay, if I can put myself out there and say, \u201cHere I am, lumps and bulges and cellulite and all, and I am going to enjoy my summer in the body I have, right this minute,\u201d maybe one woman will see it and feel empowered enough to take off her cover-up and go in the water<\/a>. That\u2019s what I was hoping for, and I hope that\u2019s what I achieved!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your first book, \u201cGood in Bed,\u201d is considered the first \u201cchick-lit novel\u201d to feature a plus-size protagonist. Did you know you were breaking ground while writing the character of Cannie Shapiro? Is representation a goal of yours in your writing?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I wrote my first book, honestly, it was a story I was telling myself\u2014a roadmap out of the heartbreak and misery I was experiencing at the time, and toward more happiness and confidence. I didn\u2019t have an agent or a publishing deal. Thinking that the book could actually be a book, in bookstores, felt like a fairytale. So I didn\u2019t think about how unusual it was to have a plus-size protagonist until the first agent who\u2019d asked to read the whole book told me that the lead character couldn\u2019t be fat\u2014\u201cNobody wants to read a book about a lonely, pathetic fat girl,\u201d she said. That was when I realized that I needed to read a book about a fat character, and when I started to hope that other readers would feel the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the book was published, I wasn\u2019t sure how readers would respond, and I remember how flattering and bewildering it was when women would come to readings and say, \u201cYou\u2019ve told my story!\u201d I\u2019d be standing there thinking, \u201cNo, it\u2019s my story!\u201d But the truth is that struggling with body image and self-esteem and feeling worthy of love and happiness is so many women\u2019s stories. Once I saw the response to \u201cGood in Bed,\u201d I realized that there was a need for that kind of representation, and that became a goal. But, back in the day, it was just me trying to write my way out of my own unhappiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once I saw the response to ‘Good in Bed,’ I realized that there was a need for that kind of representation, and that became a goal. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\"jennifer
Signing on for the Dia Domino book club.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve spoken up in the past about how differently male and female fiction writers are treated by the literary media. Are you seeing less of that today, or has that continued?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m definitely seeing progress, even if it feels like baby steps. In general, I think women still struggle harder to be taken seriously, to be afforded the same consideration that a man gets by announcing, \u201cI\u2019ve written a book.\u201d Because, with male writers, it\u2019s still taken for granted that their book is just a book, while women have to work their way through all the qualifiers: \u201cNo, it\u2019s not chick lit,\u201d or \u201cI wouldn\u2019t call it women\u2019s fiction.\u201d (There is, of course, still no such thing as \u201cmen\u2019s fiction\u201d\u2014that\u2019s just fiction.) Men still have an easier time getting their work taken seriously\u2014they\u2019re more likely to get their books reviewed, or to be asked to write book reviews themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it is changing. Slowly but surely. For example, recently a female writer with young children was asked, in the New York Times<\/em>, that old question about how she balances work and family. Instead of answering, she said, \u201cI am not going to answer this question until I start seeing male writers asked the same thing.\u201d I thought that was so important, because it\u2019s true\u2014we don\u2019t ask men how they balance their jobs and their kids, we just expect that there\u2019s a woman somewhere in the background helping them do it. And that they\u2019re not feeling torn about being on a book tour when their baby speaks his first words or takes her first steps. There\u2019s a scene in \u201cMrs. Everything\u201d where Bethie\u2019s going through media coaching that will give you my take on that particular question!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the world is changing. I think the best news I\u2019ve seen lately is that the New York Times<\/em> now has a regular column reviewing romance. This drove me almost as crazy as the way that so many more men than women got the two-reviews-and-a-profile treatment from the Times<\/em>. The paper reviewed mysteries and thrillers every week. It reviewed horror and science fiction every month. It reviewed every genre except the one that women read\u2014which, by the way, is the most profitable genre in all of publishing. And the Times<\/em> just ignored it. It was maddening. I\u2019m glad they\u2019re covering romance now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to building huge audiences through your books, you\u2019ve also reached new fans through sharing your opinions in the <\/a><\/strong><\/em>New York Times<\/strong><\/a> and in your tweets<\/a>. What is it about these other platforms that has encouraged you to speak your mind in new ways?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I was a novelist, I was a newspaper reporter. I loved the immediacy of journalism, how, if you had something to say, you could say it in the next day\u2019s paper. So when blogs began, I loved having a blog, and when Twitter launched, it felt like a very natural fit. I love having a place to talk about the world and politics and pop culture and all the things I care about, and I love having a chance to do journalism again in the New York Times<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With male writers, it\u2019s still taken for granted that their book is just a book, while women have to work their way through all the qualifiers.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\"jennifer
Resplendent in red.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s your relationship to style? Has it changed over time? Have the fashion choices of your characters ever been a part of your writing process?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I could tell you that I am super stylish, or that I care a lot about clothes. The truth is that I\u2019m not and I don\u2019t. I like to be comfortable and I like to look good, but I don\u2019t like spending a lot of time getting dressed. When I need to appear in public or on TV, I usually hire a professional stylist to tell me what to wear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my books, I definitely think about how my characters dress and how their clothes tell the world who they are. I\u2019ve had to expand my fashion vocabulary a lot over the years (thank God for Google!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In real life, I\u2019d say my relationship to style is improving, slowly but surely. For a long time, I didn\u2019t think about clothes too much, and working from home definitely gives you the luxury of hanging out in pajamas or sweats (or, in my case, tunic-style tops and leggings). I love getting my Dia Boxes<\/a> and trying new things. I haven\u2019t loved every item in every box, but I got a denim jacket<\/a> that is so perfect that I pretty much live in it at this point and I tell everyone where it\u2019s from. I\u2019m a Dia proselytizer!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How would you define your personal style?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not naked? The sad fact is, there were not a lot of great clothing options when I was figuring out my style. Things were either very drab, or they had old-lady prints, or they were like oversized versions of play clothes (I remember sweatshirts with puffy paint being a thing). I\u2019m also not an especially visual person, so that doesn\u2019t help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like things that are comfortable. I like natural, breathable fabrics. If possible, I like to buy clothes that are made in America, not in sweatshops. I like dresses for formal occasions, and tunics and leggings, and linen pants in the summertime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What power does style hold for you, both in terms of self-expression and self-confidence?<\/em>
<\/strong>
There\u2019s power in feeling good about yourself. When you feel like you look good, you can take on the world. I love that social media lets me see so many women my size in beautiful clothes (and beautiful lingerie). It helps me believe that I can be beautiful and powerful, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can\u2019t wait to get your copy of \u201cMrs. Everything\u201d? Order it today<\/a>\u2014and check Jennifer Weiner\u2019s tour schedule<\/a> to see if she\u2019s headed to your town!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here at Dia&Co, we\u2019re big fans of Jennifer Weiner because of her commitment to creating well-rounded plus-size protagonists. So, when we discovered she was releasing a new novel, \u201cMrs. Everything,\u201d we scored advance copies and hosted a mini book club with our Dia Dominos. Now that \u201cMrs. Everything\u201d has officially launched, we chatted with the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":13900,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[185],"class_list":["post-13026","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nJennifer Weiner on Writing the Stories She Needed to Read - Dia & Co<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Meet the best-selling writer (and self-proclaimed Dia proselytizer) Jennifer Weiner, known for creating iconic heroines who happen to wear plus sizes.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jennifer Weiner on Writing the Stories She Needed to Read - Dia & Co\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Meet the best-selling writer (and self-proclaimed Dia proselytizer) Jennifer Weiner, known for creating iconic heroines who happen to wear plus sizes.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Dia & Co\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/diaandco\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-06-11T15:27:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-07-22T20:07:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/d3mnyo7e05c2kb.cloudfront.net\/blog-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/image2-2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2443\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1588\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Marge Hudson\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@diaandco\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@diaandco\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Marge Hudson\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"14 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/\",\"name\":\"Jennifer Weiner on Writing the Stories She Needed to Read - Dia & Co\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/d3mnyo7e05c2kb.cloudfront.net\/blog-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/image2-2.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-06-11T15:27:07+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-07-22T20:07:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/12fa817987a28e5e481cfbdfaa4a81de\"},\"description\":\"Meet the best-selling writer (and self-proclaimed Dia proselytizer) Jennifer Weiner, known for creating iconic heroines who happen to wear plus sizes.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/d3mnyo7e05c2kb.cloudfront.net\/blog-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/image2-2.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/d3mnyo7e05c2kb.cloudfront.net\/blog-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/image2-2.jpg\",\"width\":2443,\"height\":1588},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/love\/jennifer-weiner\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Jennifer Weiner on Writing the Stories She Needed to Read\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.dia.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Dia & Co\",\"description\":\"Dia & Co is the premier personal styling service for plus-size women. 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