Getting Back Out There: A Friendly Guide To Dating On Your Terms

Getting Back Out There: A Friendly Guide To Dating On Your Terms

And our "Summer of Yes" continues.
Plus size dating online| Dia & Co

Kylie Totten

It’s summer 2021, and things are working their way back to normal – movie theaters are back, you can go out to eat, walk through a museum, or even stop by your favorite brick and mortar store again. However, with all of that comes the confusing, daunting, and often frustrating task of (shudder) online dating. 

 

If you’re anything like me, online dating has historically been a struggle. I’ve always found myself having trouble translating my ‘real life’ persona to my ‘online’ persona and vice versa. It’s a tricky world to navigate, especially when you’re plus-sized. What pictures should I put on my online dating profile?  Do I share full-body photos? Do I provide a “warning” on my profile that I’m Fat? Do I not mention it at all and hope for the best? It’s a lot of pressure, and I know I’m not alone in these feelings.

 

Fear of rejection can be a scary and powerful thing, but worse than that is getting stuck in a situation where you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. I’ve been there and trust me, those relationships aren’t good for anyone involved. So I wanted to share some tips on setting up a dating profile that captures the real, authentic, and beautiful YOU. (For more on being authentically YOU all summer long, check out my Summer of Yes post!)

Plus size dating online, black frayed hem shorts and tie dye t-shirt| Dia & Co

Show Off Different Side of Your Personality 

  • Add some full-body shots along with your selfies. Don’t be afraid to show your entire self! Your body is not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by, and there’s certainly no need to apologize or ‘warn’ someone about ahead of time.
  • Candid shots are a great way to capture how the rest of the world sees and loves you!
  • Include a photo of you in your favorite outfit.
  • Include a photo of you dressed down to show you’re confident in your own skin. 
  • It’s hot out, so share photos of yourself in shorts, tanks, crops, and sundresses!

"Fear of rejection can be a scary and powerful thing, but worse than that is getting stuck in a situation where you’re pretending to be someone you’re not."

Share Something About Your Interest That Invites Conversation

  • If you’re into movies, put something in your profile like “Tell me your favorite movie quote and I’ll guess what movie it’s from.”
  • If you’re into sports, “Tell me about the worst game you’ve ever seen.”.
  • People love  to talk about themselves— inviting them in with a fun prompt will make the conversation take off naturally.

Be Daring

  • Send the first message! The person you matched with matched with you for a reason—embrace that outreach. You never know what could come of it! You can even use some of the above prompts to start up a conversation.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

  • If you aren’t feeling confident, that’s okay! It’s hard to feel confident all the time. You don’t have to feel it, even pretending to have that confidence goes a long way.

Above all, be You!

  • I cannot stress this enough—this is truly the best and most important thing you can do, not only in dating, but in life. The more unapologetic you are about WHO you are, the more people will be drawn to you and fall in love with you for YOU.

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