How To Cope When Plans Fall Through

How To Cope When Plans Fall Through

It’s okay to mourn for what you’ve lost, but keep yourself open to new experiences that might surprise you.
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Kylie Totten

"What I’m trying to say here is this: don’t get so bogged down in what you think your life is supposed to look like."

Sometimes plans fail. If you’ve been following my Summer of Yes series on the blog, you’ll know that earlier this year, I had planned to road-trip across the country in October. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances (i.e., a lingering global pandemic), I had to cancel my trip.  I spent hours upon hours putting this thing together, meticulously crafting the perfect itinerary. I spent more money than I’d like to admit on supplies and gear. I had even planned out several blog posts to offer tips and advice, as well as my reflections afterwards. Needless to say, this isn’t where I expected to be in September 2021, so trust me when I say that I understand what a bummer  it can be to lose something you’ve been working towards. 

Before I had to give up my trip of a lifetime, I had to cancel my wedding in October of 2020. I’m sure you can imagine how hard this was – my wedding, something that I had dreamed about my entire life, slipped out of my hands as I watched, helpless and heartbroken. There was nothing I could do about it, and eventually I had to move on. I allowed myself time to grieve for what I had lost, and then I focused on what was ahead of me.

"At this point I truly canot imagine my wedding being any different than it was. "

After having to cancel the wedding I’d always wanted, my partner and I decided to pivot to something more feasible for the times we were living in. Instead of having a huge wedding with tons of people, we, along with my best friend, decided to drive over to the Mothman Museum in West Virginia to elope. It started out as a joke, but the further into the pandemic we got, the more we started to consider the possibility. When we finally decided to pull the plug on the wedding we’d originally intended and switch to the elopement, I was terrified. I was so nervous that I’d regret not having a “real” wedding. However, instead of dwelling on it, I realized it was out of my hands, and that I’d be much happier embracing the absolute absurdity of it all. 

 

At this point, I truly cannot imagine my wedding being any different than it was. We arrived in Point Pleasant, West Virginia and were married in front of the Mothman statue at sunset by my best friend. It was absolutely perfect and it was so US. This was something no one had ever done before, and the town treated us like celebrities for the entire weekend! It was the best day of my life, and I’m so happy it happened the way it did; goofy, silly, fun, unique, perfect. Now I get to say that I am the first person ever to be married in front of The Mothman, and I could not be more proud to have that useless honor. I smile each time I think about it, and maybe we’ll go visit a new cryptid site for each anniversary,who knows? We’ll see next month, which marks our first year.

(Pictured: The Mothman standing guard over our union)

What I’m trying to say here is this: don’t get so bogged down in what you think your life is supposed to look like. Sometimes (most of the time), things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes your plans get ruined, no matter how much effort you’d put into them. You may not get the wedding you’d dreamed of since you were little, or you may have to forgo your trip of a lifetime, or maybe the festival you’d been planning to attend for years was suddenly canceled. But you know what? That’s okay! Grieve the loss, and then allow yourself to look forward to the wacky and wonderful Mothman wedding you could have instead. As long as you’re open to what the future will bring, you might be pleasantly surprised by what you’ll find.

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